This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
“My Hope comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth”
These lyrics from Casting Crowns song “ Praise You In This Storm”.
They have such a bigger deeper meaning to me now as I am drawing close to my 50th Birthday. Last month (November) I was in a funk. I was so disappointed in where I am in my life. I was not finding joy in my life and certainly wasn’t hoping for much.
Some background: I married at 17 and I was pregnant with my oldest daughter but I was so completely in love. We were married for just shy of 21 years when my ex’s affair was brought to light as an answer to prayer. We have a saying here “Careful what you pray for God just may give you it” and boy was that true. I went back and forth between praying it was all a dream and begging God to change it all. I was still very much in love with him at this time.
The pain was so deep and so indescribable. For months afterward my emotions went from deep sorrow to overwhelming anger and everything in between. Then one day about 2 years after the divorce, when I was home alone and very sick, I lay dozing on the couch and I heard the Lord say to me in my heart and mind “Ruth and Esther”. I at first thought I was delusional because I was sick. As I continued dozing I heard it again. I dismissed it again and fell back to sleep. I heard it a third time, loudly and I woke and began praying and promised to read those books and seek what God was saying to me. I read both books the next morning but couldn’t see what God was saying to me. So I read them again and again and I came to the conclusion God was saying he’s bringing me a husband because what else could he possibly saying with these 2 books in the Bible? (I was wrong in that, it was not the message God was saying to me).
About 2 years after this (yeah, I know) I picked up my bible to read them again because they still echoed throughout my mind constantly. It’s like I couldn’t get away from them. I read them, studied them and finally understood God was telling me he wanted me to trust him with my emotional heart, that he would protect it, that my heart and my emotions were important to him.
Fast forward to last month and in the midst of my emotional turmoil God began speaking to me because after forgiving my ex and healing from all the pain, anger, and disappointment I failed to go any further. I was stuck. But God was speaking to me through so many amazing women whose journeys have been similar. Scriptures were coming at me from everywhere. It’s like God was saying ok enough is enough! You need to move and grow.
After many tears and expressions of fear, peace finally reigns in my heart. I am not married again, I’m not even dating anyone but whatever God has in store for my life and heart I know it’s the very best for me. I have hope in him for my future. My Hope truly is in the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth!
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my coaching courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books