This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
I met my ex-husband when I was twenty, and we had a lot in common at the time. We liked to drink, smoke pot and party. We dated for six years and he married me because I was growing impatient and he didn’t want to break up.
I never forgot growing up in a Christian home and as the years went on in our marriage I listened more to Christian music, went to church by myself occasionally and attended some Bible studies. But I still drank and smoked pot a whole lot. I needed an escape from a loveless marriage and the financial burden we were under.
If you have children and they smoke pot and you think it is harmless and they are just experimenting…well they might be just experimenting. But for some like me, it took over my whole life. It makes you selfish, unmotivated and lazy. That, along with drinking and abusing sleeping pills really screwed up my normal brain function and I developed debilitating insomnia in the fall of 2011.
My ex was indifferent to my struggles and told me to get over it and take some more pills. I became suicidal and my family intervened by sending me to a mental hospital and then a traditional five-week rehab. The insomnia went away briefly and then came back and stayed for months. I was going crazy and no one believed I had not slept as long as I told them, so I lost everything. I eventually ended up living out on the family farm by myself because no one knew what to do with me.
God never forgot about me and through the prayers of two Godly men that were family friends, I healed and returned to my normal self. I returned home, and my ex-husband and I divorced.
God saved me but the consequences were many for my breakdown. My house was foreclosed and the bank listed it on my credit as an eviction, so no one would rent an apartment to me. I lived with family and friends for five years. I went through a failed long-term relationship and a failed engagement. I went into counseling because I was tired of choosing men with emotional problems that I felt I could save. Christian counseling was the best thing I could have done.
After my failed engagement, I was super focused on what I wanted in a relationship with a man. I met my now-husband through a singles group at church and I knew he was different. He had such a joy for life, for Jesus. He was romantic, patient, and hard-working. There were no emotional issues in sight. We married eight months later and we now have a beautiful baby boy.
I still experience anxiety. In fact, I just recently did and quit my part-time job to take care of my mental health. Life is not perfect just because you are a Christian or just because you remarry a Christian man. We have been in counseling for a crisis and have to pray and fight for our marriage and family.
God is so faithful though. My praise music, journaling, reading daily devotionals, going to counseling, praying…whatever it takes to remain connected to God and his truth get me through life. He is so faithful to redeem and restore all that was lost. I am feeling really grateful today!
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my mentoring courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books