This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
Something wasn’t right. My Christian husband of 33 years had lost his zeal for the Lord and for anything that had to do with church. He continued to attend church, but each Sunday morning was tense. He dragged his feet. He was impatient during the service. Something wasn’t right. So, I prayed. For several years, I prayed, “Lord, bring him back to You.”
It was a slow fade and it was happening right before my eyes. I became desperate. I wanted to say that most frightening prayer, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t want anything to happen to my children, or my grandchildren. But I became more desperate. There was no joy in our home. We were distant. And then it happened.
On a Thursday night….as I lay beside my sleeping husband and prayed, I heard a still small voice say, “Pray for him, lay your hand on him, and pray for him.” I argued with the Lord. “I pray for him every day,” I said. “Pray for him,” He said. So, I placed my hand lightly on his back while he slept. And I took a deep breath……and I said, “Lord, WHATEVER it takes, bring him back to you!” And then I cried. I know God works all things together for good…even the bad things. I became a Christian when I was twelve years old. I had seen it before. People flee to God during dire circumstances. What was going to happen? Oh, how could I have prayed that prayer? What had I done?
I’m not sure why I was convinced that someone was going to get hurt, or even worse, that someone I loved was going to die. But that’s how I felt. I had a feeling of dread the next morning, but went on about my day. And it was a good day. All day. Then I got home from work. I won’t go into the details, but that evening I discovered that he was having an affair. And I asked him to leave.
This is not what I was expecting. I cried, “Lord, how could you let this HAPPEN? I asked you to bring him BACK, not to take him further away from me and from YOU!”
The nightmare began. Anyone who has gone through a separation and divorce knows all about it. It is worse than death. The total destruction of a family, of a future, of your LIFE!
That was nineteen months ago. The pain is still there. Despair and sadness have put me in a deep pit most days. But I will tell you that in a strange way, I would not change a thing. I lost my in-laws, some friends, and relationships within my family have changed. I am facing an unknown future.
But my God is faithful. He has been there for me every second. He lifted me from the pit thousands of times. He protected me from harming myself. He surrounded me with His favor as a shield. His word is literally what gets me through every second. And He is so precious to me. There is a peace in my life and in my house that is unbelievable. He is going to use this for my good. I knew Him before. But now, I have SEEN Him. The dreaded prayer that I prayed will be answered. Part of that answer was to have the affair revealed. And that answer came the very next day. The rest is yet to come.
The Lord will take care of my husband….in HIS time and in HIS way. My marriage probably won’t be restored. But I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my mentoring courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books