This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
I grew up in a Christian home, but still, had many obstacles to fight. I was molested at a young age which turned into a severe addiction to masturbation. I lived and breathed self-hatred. I use to pull my hair, cut my legs, bite my arms, and break whatever I needed to let out anger. I also became promiscuous. I couldn't stop any of these things. I felt ashamed. I was dirty.
Wanting to marry one day, I felt like I needed to get set free from these strongholds which praise God, year after year of praying and one day, a weight was lifted from off of me. I was set free at a church service that I swear was meant for me.
I met my husband through mutual friends. We married quickly. We were both “Christians,” so we both felt “safe” marrying one another. Though, our ideas of Christianity were very different. Our outlook on marriage was very different. We started arguing since day one. I stayed in the marriage for 5 years, because again, we were “Christians.” My mother, one day, said, “How are you doing it? I wouldn't blame you for leaving him.” It still took another year to leave, but it just took one day of courage and I walked out leaving everything behind.
Now, I am working with an individual counselor to help set forth my future as well as a mentor who constantly checks up on me, who is there and just loves me unconditionally. I have been blessed with a new job, my personal business is growing, and a new place of my own.
I am not saying that God is for divorce. I am not for divorce. I do know though, that God is a God of grace and is a God of mercy. He uses all things for our good and He can use our ashes into beauty. He longs to be with us and He hurts when you hurt. I was hurting. Within my circumstances, God has never left me. Does it hurt? Yes! Do I feel lonely at times? Yes! Divorce is real. It's raw. But I no longer feel trapped or discouraged. I feel free and courageous. I have been blessed. God is for me and not against me. He is on my side for I am His beloved.
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join one my private Facebook groups (difficult marriage, separated/divorced, single moms, remarried), please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my mentoring courses.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.