This is a continuation of a new series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. I sent out the call for stories that answered either ‘what is one lesson God has taught you?’ or ‘what is one way God has healed you?’ through their hard marriages, their separations, their divorces, their single mothering seasons, their forays into dating post-divorce, or even their remarriages. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone.
faith \fāTH\- complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
miracle \ˈmir-i-kəl\- an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs.
broken \ˈbrō-kən\- violently separated into parts. damaged or altered by or as if by breaking.
I picked up this “faith” bracelet this past summer when we went to Ocean Isle for our family vacation. There were 19 of us under one roof and I had never felt so alone in my life. It had only been a few weeks since I heard my husband say the words out loud “I want a divorce”. Yet, despite the fact that he no longer wanted to be a part of the family, here he was on “my” family vacation. And despite his declaration of wanting to end our marriage, here he was laughing and carrying on with my family as if nothing had changed. How could MY family treat him as if nothing had changed. How could they stand by all week long as my husband blatantly disregarded me in front of them. If I spoke, it was as if I was not in the room. No acknowledgement from him, but even more devastating, no action or reaction from my family members to speak up for me, thus confirming my worst fears- I was not seen. I was not loved. I was not important.
It wasn't long after vacation that I dropped this bracelet. It hardly seemed like a fragile piece that would break from a drop on the counter, but it snapped in two, and as I looked at it I thought to myself, this is actually a more accurate picture of my faith- broken. In reality, my faith had been broken for a very long time. In fact, looking back, I never had a real faith. I thought I had faith; I thought faith was simply believing in Jesus. The dictionary says that faith is a noun, but in reality it's more of an action. It's a choice to not only believe in something, but it's a choice to put your complete trust in something or someone. My faith had never gone beyond saying that I believed in Jesus and that He died for me on the cross. I never truly had faith in the person of Jesus. I never believed He could fill the huge hole in my heart.
So maybe having “broken faith” at that point and time was ok, because God was about to write a story entitled, “My Broken Faith Restored”. He was about to take me on the wildest journey of my life. He was going to begin a work of restoration in my heart that would change everything.
It began with the whisper of Hosea 2:14 “Therefore I am now going to allure her. I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her”.
If you are walking in the wilderness, hold on. It’s not a place to dread and fear. No, on the contrary friend, if God has you in the wilderness, it’s because He wants to speak directly to your heart and He needs all other distractions quieted so you will hear only His voice when it whispers. “I love you daughter, you are precious, you are chosen, you are a treasure to me”.
At the moment when you feel as if everything is broken and shattered is the place where He can step in and do His most beautiful work and put you back together, paint beauty from ashes! Hold on!
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join one my private Facebook groups (difficult marriage, separated/divorced, single moms, remarried), please send me a friend request at www.facebook.com/elisabethkleinfisher.
If in a difficult marriage:
Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom:
Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books