This is a continuation of a new series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. I sent out the call for stories that answered either ‘what is one lesson God has taught you?’ or ‘what is one way God has healed you?’ through their hard marriages, their separations, their divorces, their single mothering seasons, their forays into dating post-divorce, or even their remarriages. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone.
To understand how I arrived at this point, I must talk about how it all began.
As a 19-year-old, I met and fell head-over-heels in love with a 21 year old very charming, young man. I thought I had met my knight in shining amour. We met at the university. I was in my third year and he was in his second. Many considered us the “ideal couple”. I was convinced I had won the love, life and family lottery all rolled into one.
We had good times and adventures. We travelled the world together, got married and had two children. We were happy for a while and then things took a downward turn.
He ventured into several businesses, most of which did not work out. In the beginning I believe he had good intentions. However something went terribly wrong. The downward spiral continued until I could no longer recognize the man I had married. He was gone…. replaced by this new character that I could not figure out.
The turning point in our marriage, our lives happened when he met a guy through work. This guy, whom I will call “Yuli” invited him to a barbecue at his house. I attended this barbecue with him but from that first day, I had an eerie feeling about this guy I wanted to leave, in fact, I wanted to run as soon as I stepped foot in his house. But I didn’t. We stayed, and my ex and Yuli struck up a friendship.
In the days that followed, Yuli introduced my ex to a group of people who share the same faith that my ex was born into. It was the faith of his family, but one he never practiced. My ex decided that he was going to re-awaken his dedication and practice of this faith. Everything as I had known it was about to change. While I do not completely attribute the demise of our marriage to Yuli and his group, their presence in my ex’s life played a major role. Time would reveal what I was only beginning to sense. Things had changed. We were going in different directions, and nothing I did would draw us back to what we’d had.
It became obvious that we were unequally yoked, right from the start. With me being a Christian, and him being born into a different religion and never practicing, but instead going to church with me in those early years. I never thought “religion” would cause a problem. To cut the long story short, returning to the religion he was born into changed him, he became abusive, controlling mean to mean and heavy-handed with the children. I heard from God, that I should leave, I should run. I left and God has not left me or dropped me ever since. God made it possible for me to get a second job the same month I left, making it possible for me to sustain my children and myself, it prevented me from running back to him. Since then he has opened doors for me in unimaginable ways. He has brought help to me and my children in many ways, brought new friends into my life and several Godly counsel into my life. This is not to say each day is not a struggle. But nothing has fallen by the way side. My trust in him has deepened. One lesson God has taught me through it all is that everything is always working together for my good because I love God and I am called according to his purpose. He will never leave me or forsake me – He promised!
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join one my private Facebook groups (difficult marriage, separated/divorced, single moms, remarried), please send me a friend request at www.facebook.com/elisabethkleinfisher.
If in a difficult marriage:
Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/store
Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom:
Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/store